“Balls of Fury”

ballsoffury.jpgDan Folger
Christopher Walken
George Lopez
Maggie Q
James Hong
Robert Patrick
Aisha Tyler
Thomas Lennon
Diedrich Bader
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
Terry Crews
Patton Oswalt
David Koechner
David Proval
Brett DelBuono

PG13           91min           2007

In the unsanctioned, underground, and unhinged world of extreme Ping-Pong, the competition is brutal and the stakes are deadly. Now, this outrageous new comedy serves up this secret world for the first time on-screen. Down-and-out former professional Ping-Pong phenom Randy Daytona (Dan Fogler) is sucked into this maelstrom when FBI Agent Rodriguez (George Lopez) recruits him for a secret mission. Randy is determined to bounce back and recapture his former glory, and to smoke out his father’s (Robert Patrick) killer – one of the FBI’s Most Wanted, arch-fiend Feng (Christopher Walken). But, after two decades out of the game, Randy can’t turn his life around and avenge his father’s murder without a team of his own. He calls upon the spiritual guidance of blind Ping-Pong sage and restaurateur Wong (James Hong), and the training expertise of Master Wong’s wildly sexy niece Maggie (Maggie Q), both of whom also have a dark history with Feng. All roads lead to Feng’s mysterious jungle compound and the most unique Ping-Pong tournaments ever staged. There, Randy faces such formidable players as his ong-ago Olympics opponent, the still-vicious Karl Wolfschtagg (Thomas Lennon). Can Randy keep his eye on the ball? Will he achieve the redemption he craves while wielding a paddle? Is his backhand strong tnough to triumph over rampant wickedness? – from imdb

“Balls of Fury” was described as a kung fu movie with all the kung fu parts replaced with ping pong. This description does a disservice to the kung fu movie genre. It’s an satirical piece of crap that only redeeming qualities are Maggie Q and the rockin eighties soundtrack. The rest of this film is just a waste of time.

Although the plot is taken exactly from most revenge kung fu movies, and everything things screams kung fu movie I would never classify this film as a kung fu movie. This is more of a ping pong movie with kung fu overtones. Calling it other wise makes people thing kung fu films are crappy too, when there are some very good films in the genre. Some even stand the test of time.

“Balls of Fury” is a waste of time to watch this film. It has funny moments but altogether they don’t make this film worth watching. Robert Patrick’s management should be fire for letting him to this film. Better yet the film executive who greenlit this film should be fired. There had to have been aleast one other script better than this on the shelve.

The only redeeming quality and the reason I don’t classify this as an “End of Days” is Maggie Q and the eighties soundtrack. Maggie Q is hot and makes this film better just by looking at her. The hair band rock from the eighties goes great with this film and the closing credits with “Pore Some Sugar” didn’t make it a total waste.

I give it 1/5 Gs.

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