“A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints”

Robert Downey Jr.
Shia LaBeouf
Chazz Palminteri
Diane Wiest
Channing Tatum
Rosario Dawson
Meloniz Diaz
Martin Compston
Eric Roberts
Adam Scarimbolo
Julia Garro
Peter Tambakis

R           100min           2006

A coming of age drama about writer/director Dito Montiel’s youth, the film captures the mid-1980s in the toughest neighborhood of Astoria Queens. Dito (Robert Downey Jr.), called home after 15 years because his father (Chazz Palminteri) is ill, encounters old friends –the ones he lost, the ones he left behind, the ones he cannot help but remember. These are Dito’s “saints.” An honest account of a bittersweet return to a neighborhood where relationship can never be what they once were, Dito’s story is about coming to terms with a father’s rage and a father’s love.

“A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” is a emotionally moving drama. It is based on the novel by, Dito Montiel, the writer and director, of the screenplay. This part meshed well with Robert Downey Jr. Much of the younger cast holds the strongest dramatic parts.

This is a strong emotional drama. It made me consider who would be my saints. I think even though the writer and director wrote the book, the book will have more emotional resonance than the movie. Now I want to find time to read the book. This is becoming a standard practice in Hollywood; make a movie from the pages of a classic book.

Robert Downey Jr. really meshed with this character. His history shade is character and it worked for this part. He shows that emotion all through his performance. You can he the pain of Dito Montiel in one of the deleted scene as he is directing the actors.

As the majority of “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” takes place in the past much of the younger cast holds the drama that shape the older Dito. Shia LaBeouf and Channing Tatum give strong performances of two young men growing up in New York. The entire younger cast is more of an ensemble even though it is center around Dito. If you have not seen it, I think you should try it.

“A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints” has a commentary by the director and editor. There is an making of featurette and a few other featurettes. It has an alternate opening and ending scene, deleted scenes, cast auditions, and a theatrical trailer. The are movie previews for “Journey to the End of the Night”, “Wilderness”, “A Little Trip to Heaven”, and “The Proposition”.

I give it 4/5 Gs.

“The Hitcher (2007)”

Sean Bean
Sophia Bush
Zachary Knighton
Neal McDonough

R           104min           2006

A road trip takes a deadly turn in this terrifying thriller about a young couple (Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton) tormented by a psychotic hitchhiker (Sean Bean) who forces them to face their fears head-on. The open road becomes a battleground of blood and metal in the race to reveal the chilling truth about this relentless killer. No one knows who he is, what he is after, or how to stop this “truly twisted villain.” Watch the madness unfold with intense, edge of your seat chase sequences that drive this sinister film to a deadly ending you won’t soon forget!

Having never seen the original “The Hitcher” I can say if this is better or not. What I can say is that it teaches three lessons. You do not pick up strangers. Movie cops are incompetent. If you pull the trigger, they will die.

Lesson one: you do not pick you strangers. No matter how unthreatening they look. You call the cops and let them deal with it. That is just common sense.

Lesson two learned: That’s movie cops are incompetent. Whom in their right minds believe a man and woman in there twenties goes on killing sprees like this? The cops should have reacted differently which leads to a case of poor writing. It took me out of the film.

Lesson three: If you pull a gun on someone use it. That is the number one cliché of movies hero or heroines never pull the trigger when they should. It is always at the end. All during the film they could be wounding the bad and then at the end he would be should a bad ass to kill. “Bad his ass and he’ll eat grass”.

“The Hitcher” has all the standard special features. There are deleted scenes and alternate ending. There are several behind the scene featurettes. The are movie previews for “Hot Fuzz”, “Smokin Aces”, and “Alpha Dog”

I give it 2/5 Gs.

“Eastern Promises”

Viggo Mortensen
Naomi Watts
Vincent Cassel
Armin Mueller-Stahl

R           101min           2007

Criminal mastermind Nikolai (Mortensen) finds his ties to a notorious crime family shaken when he crosses paths with Anna (Watts), a midwife who has accidentally uncovered evidence against them. Their unusual relationship sets off an unstoppable chain of murder, mystery and deception. — from the back cover

“Eastern Promises” is not what I expected. It is a blabbering drama that ends abruptly. It’s a film that just does not work as promised. Two great actors don’t work on screen together as well as apart.

“Eastern Promises” is a drama that does all the talking. Characters are babbling on and on about this problem or than problem. There is hardly any action in the film. For mobster they talk entirely too much.

I never got what the title meant to the film. The “surprising” reveal was not that surprising and seemed to be thrown in just to throw off the audience. It feels like an incomplete movie. That major parts of the “Eastern Promises” seem to be missing and that’s why I had trouble with this film.

Naomi Watts and Viggo Mortensen worked better when they were not on screen with each other. She worked well as a medical resident trying to find out this girl. Viggo worked as a mob driver rising in the ranks. Their chemistry is as cool as the Russian weather on screen.

I give it 2/5 Gs.

“Epic Movie”

Kal Penn
Adam Campbell
Jennifer Collidge
Jayma Mays
Faune Chambers
Crispin Glovers
Tony Cox
Hector Jimenez
Darrell Hammond
Carmen Electra
Jim Piddock
Fred Willard

Unrated           93min           2007

From two of the six writers of “Scary Movie” comes a spoof on epic movies.

“Epic Movie” must have had the same two of six writers of “Scary Movie”. These guys should give up while they are ahead. They are diluting the spoof genre. This movie is even more of a mess than “Date Movie”. They take so many elements from so many movies that after a while it becomes a confusing mess.

It’s like they wrote this film on the fly. They told one film plot and then just started throwing in film after film on top of it. If you shovel enough crap on funny, you end up with a pile of crap. It tries too hard to be funny and comes off as boring.

The spectrum of the films that “Epic Movie” hits on is just that epic; they are taking elements from the X-Men, Pirates of the Caribbean, Chronicles of Narnia, and Willy Wonka. One minutes its one film then it goes off into a tangent of another film coming back to the original and not making it worth the audiences’ time. This is not a pretty picture. It has too many different movies to make it funny.

The writers even address this fact in the movie. This one is way over the top, too tongue in cheek; they pushed the button a little too far with this one. It’s getting to the point that the ‘two of the six’ writers of “Scary Movie” are crying out somebody please help me. Please let the genre rest its beginning to get like the horror films of the eighties.

“Epic Movie” is full of many special features. There is an audio commentary with the writers and directors, a breaking wind commentary. There are several featurettes. There is also a music video for “Lazy Pirate”, outtakes, and alternate endings. The are movie previews for “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”, “Date Movie”, and “Reno 911: Miami”.

I give it 1/5 Gs.

“Date Movie”

Alyson Hannigan
Adam Campbell
Jennifer Coolidge
Tony Cox
Lil Jon
Carmen Electra
Sophie Monk
Marie Matiko
Judah Friedlander
Josh Meyers
Fred Willard
Eddie Griffin

Unrated           85min           2006

From two of the six writers of Scary Movie comes a spoof on romantic comedies.

“Date Movie” has it moments but with so many spoofs coming out so rapidly the spoofing genre is a little worn out. Alyson Hannigan does a great job with the overly tongue in cheek script. It does hit on many of the classic moments from romantic movies.

“Date Movie” has it definite funny moments but its trying too hard to be funny. The two of the six writer of “Scary Movie” should stop and take an inventory. They took many classic moments and clashed them together trying to make the funny. So did and others did not; I think at this point they are just writing anything that is funny to them and filming it.

Alyson Hannigan is by far the standout in this crowd followed by Eddie Griffin. She has a handle on any comedy and work well with in the genre. Eddie Griffin is a mesh of several characters that do not fit together but he makes them work with his comedic style. I would like to see straighter comedic performances from him.

It does its job to bastardize several classic moments in romantic film history. Some worked for the comedic turn, others did not, and so should have been left alone. They tried to hit you with every moment at once. Two of the six writers should add a third to balance them out.

“Date Movie” is full of special features. There are several commentaries. There are many featurettes and the standard deleted and extended scenes. There movie previews for “Grandma’s Boy”, “The Omen”, “Trust the Man”, and “Thank You for Smoking”.

I give 1/5 Gs.

“Rush Hour 3″

Chris Tucker
Jackie Chan
Hiroyuki Sanada
Youki Kudoh
Yvan Attal
Noemie Lenoir
Zhang Jinechu
Tzi Ma
Dana Ivey
Henry O.
Max von Sydow

PG13           90min           2007

When the Chinese criminal masterminds flees to Paris, there’s only one culture-clashed, crime-fighting duo for the job. Ready to raise hell in the city of lights, Chief Inspector Lee (Chan) and Detective Carter (Tucker) instead get caught in an explosive battle between the French police, the Triad gang and two gorgeous femmes fatales! With everybody kung fu fighting to the top of the Eiffel Tower, this one-two punch of hilarious action doesn’t let up until the final heart-stopping au revoir!.

“Rush Hour 3” is an Rush Hour one to many. It’s the same exact formula found in the second film and its no funnier. This time around, it was just an lazy attempt at squeezing out the last bit of money out of a series past its prime. The filmmakers and actors were laugh at how funny this film was going to be… it must have been an inside joke of how much money they were going to take from an unsuspecting movie audience.

They should have known that it could have been that funny… they took it to Paris. The Pink Panther went to Paris and look how bad that turned out. This should be an indication that Ratner, Tucker and Chan should not ‘rush the hour’ again. PLEASE.

I give 2/5 Gs.

“Shattered (2007)”

Pierce Brosnan
Maria Bello
Claudette Mink
Callum Keith Rennie
Peter Kelghn
Nicholas Lea

R           95min           2007

Neil and Abby Warner have the perfect life and a perfect marriage. With their beautiful young daughter, Sophie, they are living the American dream… until today. When Sophie is suddenly kidnapped, they have no choice but to comply with the abductors demands. The kidnapper – Ryan (Pierce Brosnan), a cold and calculating sociopath takes over their lives with the brutal efficiency of someone who has nothing to lose. In the blink of an eye, Neil and Abby’s safe and secure existence is turned upside down. Over the next twenty-four hours, they are at the mercy of a man who wants only one thing: that they do his bidding. – from imdb

“Shattered (2007)” is an amazing film that keeps up on the edge of your seat. The actors are amazing in their respective parts. The writing is amazing in this film.

“Shattered (2007)” is a film that I do not remember being in the theaters but it should have been. This is an amazing character piece. The writing, the actors, and the way its filmed makes it a remember able film. The sum of this film is greater than its parts.

The actors are what make this film so convincing. I think Pierce Brosnan was a good Bond but he was also wasting away in the role of Bond. He really flexes his acting muscle in this film. Maria Bello plays victim as the convincingly as any actress and has that ability to change her acting on the dime. See Gerard Butler act like a victim after seeing play King Leonaides in 300 is a little throwing until about 10 minutes into the film.

“Shattered (2007)” is a film that shows why the writers strike. The film threads a thin creative line without betraying the outcome of the film. The ending is so shocking that it worth the price of admission. From this film fifty percent of the population should learn a valuable lesson.

“Shattered (2007)” contains nothing ‘special’ in features. There are two featurettes “Breaking Apart the Wheel” and “Hero to Villian”. It has an audio commentary by the writer/director. Then the standard deleted and extended scenes. “3:10 to Yuma”, “Good Luck Chuck”, “Saw IV”, “WAR” and “Crank” and “The Cooler” are the movie previews.

I give it 4/5 Gs.

“American Pie Presents Beta House”

John White
Steve Talley
Christopher McDonald
Eugene Levy
Meghan Heffern
Jake Segel
Nic Nac
Jonathan Keltz
Bradford Anderson

Unrated           99min           2007

Erik, Ryan, and Cooze start college and pledge the Beta House fraternity, presided over by none other than legendary Dwight Stifler. But chaos ensues when a fraternity of geeks threatens to stop the debauchery and the Betas have to make a stand for their right to party. – from imdb

“American Pie Presents: Beta House” is the sixth slice of pie and one of the funniest yet. It takes male debauchery to another level. It raises the bar set in the “Naked Mile”. It breaks all kinds of rules against nature to the glimmer of a laugh.

The humor leans towards male. Most older adults will finds this humor tasteless and outrageously gross. Tip: Do not watch with your parents. Do even let them know you are watching If they have never had a slice of American Pie this is not the slice to start them off with.

For those christened to the pie, enjoy another slice. Laugh until it hurts and hope for another helping; because at this rate you can never have enough pie. “American Pie Presents: Beta House” definitely deliver the humor, that the audience has come to enjoy.

The slice is loaded with special features. There is an commentary, outtakes, deleted storylines and scenes. There are featurettes with Eugene Levy as Mr. Levenstein. There are several other featurettes and behind the scene games. There are two music videos by God Made Me Funky. It has movie previews for Bring It On: In It To Win It”, “Balls of Fury”, and “White Noise 2”

I give it 4/5 Gs.

“National Treasure: Book of Secrets”

Nicolas Cage
Jon Voight
Harvey Keitel
Ed Harris
Diane Kruger
Justin Bartha
Bruce Greenwood
Helen Mirren

PG           124min           2007.

Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicolas Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth’s diary.

This one is not as good as the first but still interesting and exciting as before. This time around, they travel to locales that are more international. The plot is too simplistic and Disney driven.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets has Benjamin Gates trying to clear the name of his great, great, great granddad name. The conspiracy theory is more international and a little more nefarious in nature. It deals with more politics that are international but ends up still finding a national treasure that even I had never heard of.

The action was too clean and no one is injury severely. Guns are brandished more than they are fired and mercenary are the worst shot for hired gunman, a definite influence from Disney. You never see an ounce of blood and the only death of the film is off screen. There is a setup of another sequel; that is apparent to anyone watching.

“National Treasure: Book of Secrets” is an alright film and is an ok sequel to the first. Maybe its that I expect more from a Jerry Bruckheimer Film. It felt to Disney influenced and the plot was a little more a stretch of the imagination. I did like what the treasure was and where it was located. The setup of a sequel did make me want to see what it is.

I give it 3/5 Gs.

“The Kingdom”

Jamie Foxx
Chris Cooper
Jennifer Garner
Jason Bateman
Jeremy Piven
Danny Huston
Richard Jenkins
Ashraf Barhom
Ali Suliman
Kyle Chandler
Frances Fisher
Ashley Scott
Anna Deavere Smith

R           119min           2007

When a terrorist bomb detonates inside a Western housing compound in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, an international incident is ignited. While diplomats slowly debate equations of territorialism, FBI Special Agent Ronald Fleury quickly assembles an elite team and negotiates a secret five-day trip into Saudi Arabia to locate the madman behind the bombing. – from Universal Pictures

“The Kingdom”is one of my personal favorite war movies. It is not only a good drama but it’s a good action film. It brought to light situations about the war and the country of Saudi Arabia that I never knew. It contains an outstanding cast that brought what it took to make this film what it is. It is a film, I think, everyone will love; it is just that good.

This film pleases both sides of your brain. The action is gritty, realistic, and in your face. The drama and plot is intelligent and believable. It pulls no punches.

One of the elements that make “The Kingdom” works is that uses realistic culture situations to move the drama. From how much we have influence there technologic, grow to the second-class citizenship of women. It showed how we all have cultural biases, which influence our thinking and the way we interact with other cultures. However it also shows how much cultural similarities we also have.

Peter Berg does a great job of directing this film. He uses an outstanding cast to tell his story and shots that bring the audience into the film. The cast is at the top of their game and melded together excellently. They capture the emotions of the audience. Let the audience get lost in the drama. The action makes you film like you are a fly on the wall of a drama that just a small piece of a bigger picture.

There is a feature commentary with director Peter Berg. There are a few deleted scenes. There are four behind the scene featurettes, Character by Character: The Apartment Shootout, Constructing the Freeway Sequence, Creating the Kingdom, and History of the Kingdom, an interactive timeline. There is only one movie preview “White Noise 2”.

I give it 5/5 Gs.